Come on, sistah. Snap out of it!

Can someone please explain to me why Britney Spears keeps looking more and more like she just rolled out of a trailor parked next to a swamp in the deep south? I don't know if this is a new phenomenon or not or if I've just recently noticed it. Woman, you have more money than God! Why are you going around with the pockets hanging out of your shorts and your hair pulled up in a scrunchy? A scrunchy!??! I expect far more from my uber-wealthy, doted-upon, iconic celebrities. I mean shit, at least you could have the thing encrusted with diamonds or something.

And another thing oh-so-Brittney of late: the gaping mouth. Britney, is everything REALLY that goddamned funny? I mean, I can see your pancreas because your mouth is open so frickin' wide:



I swear, every picture I've seen of her lately has this same wide-open mouth. She looks like a muppet: you could flip the top part of her head back. At least Madonna had the good sense to stick her tounge in there and close that shit up.

Now you're probably thinking that I'm just another Britney basher, but my friends you are wrong. I love the Spearster. Honest. I mean, she can't sing worth anything...but she's damn entertaining to watch. And when she's done up all perdy-like she looks pretty hot:



Note: I do not have a collection of Britney photos lest you thing I am some wacko. I just found that on Google for you to make my point. Honest. Seriously. Ok, maybe 5 or so and my Tiger Beat Magazine.

Wait a second, I may have just dated myself with a Tiger Beat reference for a lame-ass joke. Fuck.

While perusing through Google for a good pic of BS, I noticed that some people actually went as far as to draw or paint her:



I'm completely fascinated by this. I mean, I work from home and have a lot of spare time, but I can't imagine having THIS much spare time - unless someone was going to pay me for it. I wonder if Britney surfs around the web and looks for shit like this and gets all spooked out? Hell, nobody is drawing pictures of me. Hmpf.

I did happen upon this site though: zindy.zone.dk.

Girlfriend has TALENT. Seriously. Check her stuff out. But back to Miss Thang, now...

Apparently she's now married. Have you checked out the boyfriend? He's got two kids with some gal that hates Britney for stealing her man. I mean, Jerry Springer is going to be breaking this up any day now. Toxic, indeed.

Have you SEEN Justin lately?!? Girlfriend done gone lost her mind and it ain't but a damn shame.













- posted by Taunia @ 10:49 PM (0) comments

 
You down with G.O.D? Yeah, you know me!

Tonight I noticed that I could smell autumn in the air and that summer is officially gone. I love the smell of fall, there's a sweet smell and the air is cool in the evening. It's really my favorite season. Except, of course, when I get my first autumn cold...which inevitably always happens.

Yep, I woke up on Sunday with a sore throat and hacking cough which led to a full-blown head cold on Monday. It was like a Category 5 Hurricane of a cold in my head and I seriously thought I might have to be resuscitated at some point. Today I woke up and felt about 60% better (afer taking nearly a box of cold medication), although I think I may have officially blown my nose off my face.

Unrelated, the weekend was good and bad. We had a gig on Saturday night that was a fundraiser for music education in the schools. The day didn't start out so great: we were scheduled for a 3:10 sound check and they had mechanical problems with the system. We didn't actually check until about 6:00, so that was a lot of long-ass waiting around.

The show itself went really well. The crowd liked us a lot and were a lot of fun. The other acts were great and one act, Five O'Clock Shadow actually came out of "retirement" for the show. There were about 400 people in the audience, and I was loving it. That's my kind of show: a big audience full of adoring peeps.

After the show, I had drinks with a fellow who I'm crushing on pretty hard. I am not sure if he's interested or not, but I sent him an email to let him know that I dig him. No word yet, which is probably not great news. In any case, it was nice to get to know him and to go out and have a good time with someone who's really nice and interesting.


Sunday was not as great. We had a gig and Shah and I were late due to me being sick and traffic. We called and told them we were on our way. Our scheduled performance was 12:30 and at 12:25, we had them on the phone saying we'd be right there. The gal in charge decided to cancel us anyhow. We were pretty pissed off about that, and I let her know just how pissed off I was. In the end everything worked out, but still, it was shitty to be cancelled.

We were part of an outdoor fair/festival-type thing and since we weren't performing, we grabbed a bite to eat. As we were sitting down, we heard a guy with an Irish accent telling stories and singing who I dubbed the "scary-ass leprechaun":



I was like, there's no WAY I'd leave my kid there. They'd have nightmares for weeks! He was probably playing his ukele and passing some sort of gamma rays through his eyeballs to brainwash those kids. That was some scary shit, I tell ya.

Speaking of scary shit...

I was flipping through the channels tonight and landed on the local TV channel where they had one of the preachers from the local churches on. Now, I like my preachers to be either really imposing or really charming and effervescent. This dude was neither. He looked like he got beat up a lot in high school and he was definitely part of the chess team. His preaching was whiney and BORING. Picture this little bald dude with glasses too big for his face. He looked like a character out of Bugs Bunny. Just not nearly as entertaining.

I caught it midway through, but he was saying "Now, you could could go to a church that has a lot of fun stuff, but I don't go to church for fun. I go to church to be preached to, and to learn Jesus' word." Say WHAT? So, church shouldn't be fun? That's probably why I stopped going. Now, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure God's got a sense of humor. I mean, he wouldn't have let scales, karaoke or George W. Bush happen if he didn't. I'm pretty sure God's down with some happy fun time in his house.



The next thing he said was, "Let's face it, we should all be burning in hell right now." Oh COME ON! I don't know what God these people are praying to, but mine's not a vindictive, no-sense-of-humor, scary dude up in the sky. And besides that, who is HE (the preacher dude) to judge whether or not we should all be burning in hell? Judge your own actions dude, don't blanket us all in there too. Nobody is going to be burning in hell. Except maybe the scary leprechaun for wearing those obnoxious orange overalls, cuz that ain't right.

When are the religious scare-tractics going to end? It's just ridiculous that so many people are brainwashed into believing everything they're told without actually putting some actual thought into it. I question everything, and I don't think God made us naturally inquisitive for nothing. I think it's ok to question, because then when you make a conscious choice it means something real.

I struggle with religion a lot. I believe in a higher existence, but I also believe it's something that we can't possible explain or understand. I don't believe in a big dude in the sky with a white palace. I think it's far more complex that that. I once told my grandmother that I just wished I could know for sure. Her reply? "You can't know for sure, that's why it's called faith." So that's what I have: faith. Faith that something more exists after death, even though I don't know what that is.

Wow...I just got all preachy! Well, at least at my church there'd be some kick-ass gospel music. You down with G.O.D? Yeah, you know me!


- posted by Taunia @ 11:09 PM (0) comments

 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, POP!


Today is my dad's birthday! He tells everyone he's 59, when in reality he's 58. He considers his first 9 months in the womb some of the best months of his life...and he will argue his age with you until you just give up and let him have his way.

I'm pretty sure the government won't go along with you on that though, Dad. Don't be expecting that social security check a year earlier. (But hey, it could be worse....you could be me and not expect to EVER see a social security check!)

I have a gig tonight, so I can't spend it with my pop. So, here's the official shout-out to chet: Happy Birthday. I'm sure you and the dogs have a grand celebration planned!

Want to wish my dad a happy birthday? Send him an email HERE!
- posted by Taunia @ 2:10 AM (0) comments

 
ON THE ROAD TO SELF-EMPLOYMENT

Thank you to everyone who emailed and called...your thoughts and well-wishes are very greatly appreciated. Y'all are just good people.

At the risk of sounding too new age-y and goofy, I really do believe everything happens for a reason. One of the great things about getting older is being able to truly recognize that when one door closes, another opens and it's just a matter of choosing the right door. Yeah, that sounded really retarded, but I think you get what I mean. I'm talking about actually recognizing it.

Last week blew like a Category 5 hurricane. I said goodbye to the BSO, said goodbye to someone I love very much, my car broke down, and found out I don't have any money coming in until October (after shelling out $600 for new glasses and contacts). I think at that point, I had two choices: I could choose to stay in my bed and cry and feel sorry for myself, or I could get my shit together and start creating my new life. It would have been very easy to stay in bed and cry (and believe me, I did a lot of crying), but I chose to create and plan for my new life - and to do that as immediately as possible.

I went for my meeting at Limelight Studios in Boston. What was great about this was that they approached me about coming in, so I didn't feel tremendous pressure to "sell" myself. I was also really excited about what they were doing, and really interested in hearing more about it. Because I was less pressured, I felt like I could totally be myself and I think that was what they liked about me. I was fun/funny and outgoing and that was exactly what they were looking for.

I met with the two gals running the show, and they were incredibly nice and personable and we got along really well. We were all very clearly on the same page and in sitting there, I knew that this was meant to be. I just feel very strongly that the business they've created here will do well, and I just feel incredibly excited about being a part of it.

I got my offer-letter via email and they offered me a salary that was less than what I make privately as a voice teacher, but was sweet enough to keep me interested and bring me on as a part of the team. They're really excited about having me, and I'm excited about being there. I have to commit to teaching a 12 week program that will work around my own schedule, and then it's open as to what else I can do and be part of. I just feel like there's a lot of opportunity for me there and it's going to feel more like a community than a job. I definitely need more interaction with people since I'm working from home, so all-around it has a lot to offer me. What's even cooler is that I have to go in for a photo session...fun!

I was pretty busy last week, in addition to the meeting above, I also posted my advertisement for voice lessons anywhere I could online. I wrote to the local paper and asked them if I could possible have an article written about me as a resident with local students, using the local Arts Center, etc. They agreed and we'll hopefully get to work on that soon. I met with several potential students, and ended up almost completely booking up my Tuesdays. I now have a full Tuesday and Thursday schedule, and will start booking into Mondays and Wednesdays once I have my Limelight schedule set.

All told, I'm still going to be struggling financially for a bit, but hopefully in a few months, I'll be doing just fine. I'm a little nervous about some things still: health insurance, taxes, having enough interaction with people outside of my home, but I feel like this is a really exciting point in my life and things have just come together as they should.

There's such a beautiful feeling about being self-employed and knowing that from this point on, everything I do is a choice that *I* will make. I'll be helping people foster their love of music, I'll be performing more jazz, and I'll in general be a much happier person. The only boss I'll need to answer to is my own conscience and heart. That's a beautiful freedom, my friends.






- posted by Taunia @ 4:47 PM (0) comments

 
MOVING OUT / MOVING UP

Well, it finally happened: I am no longer working at the BSO. All signs point to me working full-time as a musician, so that's what I'm going to do. I'm sad that I'm leaving because I really love a lot of the people that I work with there, but it's for the best for them and for me.

The future is scary, though. Exciting and scary. I have to make some major adjustments - the most important being health care. For those of you who don't know, I have Polycystic Ovary Disease. What that means is that my ovaries do not produce eggs in the correct way which somehow affects the production of insulin in my pancreas. Long story short - nearly impossible for me to have children and I'm on insulin for life. 3 gigantic horse pills a day. Whoo! Anyhow, I'm also on two other medications along with the insulin - all of which will be quite costly unless I find an alternative health care plan. Going without them is not an option.

My plan is to be a multi-faceted musician. I'm hoping to bulk-up my teaching schedule to three full days a week. Amy made a kick-ass ad for me to publicize with:



If you know of anyone who may be interested in voice lessons, be a dear and pass along my information? A girl's gotta scratch out a dollar and word of mouth is the best publicity there is. Much appreciated!

I'm also looking at some more performing opportunities. I'm considering working with a GB band. I've always sworn I wouldn't do this, but the money is very good and it would be pretty flexible with my All About Buford schedule. I'm not sure yet, because if I'm going to be a musical whore, I'd rather be whoring myself out in a lounge somewhere singing some kick-ass standards. I'd sing "Misty" over "Celebration" any day.

One thing I'm really excited about is this:


Limelight Studios Boston

This is a new start-up company in Boston that sounds really exciting and like it has lots of opportunity for employees. It's literally a vocal PLAYGROUND for anyone and everyone who likes to sing. They offer entertainment packages, vocal instruction, recording and video services for just about anyone. Check out their site!

They actually contacted me after seeing my website, and to be honest...I have a really strong feeling that it's going to be a perfect fit. They're really interested in having me teach because I have a strong background in teaching vocal improvisation AND children's programs. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon and I think this is the first interview I've ever been REALLY excited about.

So, lots of changes right now. I'm going to be my own boss - FINALLY. And soon, I can say without any hesitation that I am a full-time professional musician. No more of this part-time, waking up at 5 am crap! I'm the boss of me!

But I'm scared. Cross your fingers for me!





- posted by Taunia @ 1:49 AM (0) comments

 
GETTING OLDER AND STAKING MY TERRITORY

I've always been the girl who fits the "life of the party" mold. I'm outgoing, reasonably funny, LOUD, and flirtatious. I have always been happy to play that role, because I could show people that despite my weight, you want to be with me. Admittedly, I like being the center of attention, but mainly because I like to make people laugh and see them having a good time.

My attitude and personality type have always garnered me some attention from the boys too. I was always very confident and my confidence paid off with them. They were attracted to a heavy girl who was fairly pretty and a lot of fun to be with. I liked that I broke the stereotype of what was attractive and sexy.

The reason I'm telling you all of this is because I recently realized I'm not the attention-getting "party-girl" anymore, and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

Note: All of the names in the following situation have been changed to protect the innocent!

Recently, I was out with my friend and we'll call him Senior P. Senior P and I have recently become good friends. He's a few years younger than me, but the age difference isn't really an issue because we have a lot in common and get along famously. I consider Senior P one of my close pals and I really enjoy being with him because his youthfulness is infectious and I always have a great time when I'm around him.

So, Senior P and I were out with some other friends closer to his age at a bar where they only ID'd me so I wouldn't feel left out. At this particular bar, there was a sex-kitten type of gal who was ALL OVER HIM. She's gorgeous and I knew from the second we got there that she would be trying to hook up with him. They both gave each other plenty of attention. I should have been happy for Senior P because a pretty girl liked him. But guess what? I wasn't.

I was furious.

And even worse...I was jealous.

Jealous!

I tried to play it cool, but I had a little too much tequila in me and told Senior P afterwards that I thought Sex Kitten was not right for him (which I really do believe, but shouldn't have been so blunt about). I actually said a few other things I regretted and had to do damage control the next day with an apologetic email.

And can I tell you? I can't stand it...I...was....ridiculously jealous.

I had to do a lot of sorting out, and with the help of my best friend Suzanne (that IS her real name)came up with the correct reasons for my jealousy:

1) *I* want to be the Sex Kitten. I'm used to being the center of attention in situations like that and I was just ignored. By my good friend. God, that just SUCKED OUT LOUD. In Senior P's defense, he did his very best to hang with me, but Sex Kitten was just too persuasive and had him in her alluring grip. I just realized that I'm not alluring....and in that moment, I just wanted to be more alluring than HER. Her youth, beauty, and body won out over me. My personality couldn't hold a candle to that. Maybe it just can't anymore. Maybe my youth was part of what made ME alluring.

SIDEBAR: What's interesting here is that someone MY age could rock his world sexually because I know how to work it because ...well, because of experience and because I'm just a very sexual person. (Oh dear God, I hope my parents aren't reading this) She may appear to be sexy, but I know if we had a showdown I'd win that contest (hypothetically) hands-down . The thing is, the initial allure isn't there...because Sex Kitten's youth AND small curvy body will win out every time.

2) Territory. He's MY palie, and I wanted to spend time with him and this was the first real opportunity that we had to really hang together in a while. She just busted (literally) all in there and hugged up on Senior P. There was not a thing I could do and I was left to do nothing but watch my friend be seduced away from me. ACK! Just replaying it in my mind makes me sick with jealousy. GRRRRR. But what could I do?? "Uh, excuse me extremely sexy girl....please back away from Senior P so that he I and can enjoy some platonic friendship time together." Yeah, that DEFINITELY would have gone over well with him. I probably would have been evicted from my territory!

3) The realization that if they hit it off, that will mean Senior P will be spending more time with Sex Kitten, less time with me, and I'll have to HEAR ABOUT IT because I'm his friend. Normally it doesn't bother me and maybe it's because I've never actually had to fight for time with him in any other situation or actually witness any of this going down. Or maybe it's just because I'm closer to him now and it bothers me more. I don't know. I also know that I'm right about her not being right for him, but he can't see past the "pretty" to recognize that...although eventually he will.

What it all comes down to is jealousy. I hate this feeling. Hate, hate, hate it. I want him to be happy and I want him to feel sexy and wanted....but I also want for our friendship to continue. The platonic friend takes a backseat in these situations. I also don't want him thinking I'm some insane jealous girl...because I'm NOT and I think he likes that I'm not super-emotional about things a lot of girls are. I can't help it, though...I got emotional on this one.

No longer the life of the party, more like the adult chaperone having to watch a young relationship blossom.

Yuck.

God, the fact that I even wrote about this makes me totally uncool. Jealous and uncool. I gotta go sign up for the old-folks home, yo.
- posted by Taunia @ 2:10 AM (0) comments