HATE AND LOVE

I pray. A lot of people might be surprised to know that about me, but I do. Almost every night. I also think about things a lot because I'm very sensitive. I put on a tough exterior because that's how I keep myself safe, but underneath I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you'd ever meet. I try hard not to let small things bother me, but even they get to me. I mostly keep that stuff to myself, but there are some things that are important - and that's what I'm about to share.

For some reason, I was lying in bed a couple weeks ago and I had a vision of the towers on the day of 9/11. The most awful vision of all came back into my head: people holding hands and jumping to their deaths. I just burst into tears and thanked God that I'm alive and asked that he grant me humility and remind me of just how very lucky I am.

The next day, I turned on the TV - once in the morning and once at night - and both times the same episode of "Becker" was on tv. Becker was annoyed, but was helping this old lady find her way around the subway system. When she finally got to her stop, she couldn't go up the stairs. Becker annoyingly asked her why and she said, "my son would have been 33 today. If I had only known I'd never see him again...." Again, I burst into tears. Twice. And there was my reminder.

Now London. I just don't get it. I don't understand how this can happen. I don't understand how anyone feels they have the right decide another person's fate. I don't understand how anyone can kill in the name of religion. I don't understand hate.

So in the midst of this sadness came wonderful news: my friend Sue was just proposed to and she accepted. They haven't known each other very long, but their courtship was intense and they both know it's right. The thing about Sue is that even though she makes mistakes, she acknowledges she is human, acknowledges her errors, and learns from them. She is one of the few people I know who is constantly working to better herself and her connection with other humans. Her joyfulness and happiness is contagious and I loved her the minute I met her. I feel lucky to be her friend, and I feel nothing but happiness for her.

Here's a girl who works to better her spiritual and human connection and through that openness and forward motion has found love.

But that's the world for you. Ups and downs, highs and lows. Experiencing sorrow and heartache helps us to appreciate the truly wonderful things in the world.

I have wonderful, wonderful people in my life: my family, Suzanne, Ben, Sue, Shah, Jen, Laurie, Jim....I love you all. Thank you for making my life better.

And I'll keep trying to remember how very lucky I am.
- posted by Taunia @ 4:21 PM (0) comments

 
THE NEWNESS OF THINGS

So I moved into my new home this past week - yipee! In case you didn't already read the previous entry, my best friend Suzanne bought a huge 5 bedroom home and asked me to be her roommate. We've been friends since 1991 and we're pretty much like sisters now. In fact, she even said I'm the sister she chose. Not to be corny, but in light of some recent crapiness that made me feel pretty bad about myself, it's nice to know someone loves me and enjoy my company enough to want me to hang out with them on a regular basis. :)

We've basically split the house and I'm living downstairs with Julip. I painted everything and it's like a world of primary colors down there! The "party room" is a deep brick red, my office is a beautiful orange and my bedroom is a deep blue. I still have to redecorate the bathroom - which will be sort of "cabana-y" white with some pink,white, and lilac stripes.

We're living just down the street from where I went to college...which is a bit odd. It makes me want to get up and go to class. Assuming that class starts at 1:00 in the afternoon, obviously.

I don't really have tons to talk about right now. Just wanted to check in, say hi, and give my primary colors report. I'll be back with some good stuff next week.

Adios!
- posted by Taunia @ 2:03 PM (0) comments