HATE AND LOVE

I pray. A lot of people might be surprised to know that about me, but I do. Almost every night. I also think about things a lot because I'm very sensitive. I put on a tough exterior because that's how I keep myself safe, but underneath I'm probably one of the most sensitive people you'd ever meet. I try hard not to let small things bother me, but even they get to me. I mostly keep that stuff to myself, but there are some things that are important - and that's what I'm about to share.

For some reason, I was lying in bed a couple weeks ago and I had a vision of the towers on the day of 9/11. The most awful vision of all came back into my head: people holding hands and jumping to their deaths. I just burst into tears and thanked God that I'm alive and asked that he grant me humility and remind me of just how very lucky I am.

The next day, I turned on the TV - once in the morning and once at night - and both times the same episode of "Becker" was on tv. Becker was annoyed, but was helping this old lady find her way around the subway system. When she finally got to her stop, she couldn't go up the stairs. Becker annoyingly asked her why and she said, "my son would have been 33 today. If I had only known I'd never see him again...." Again, I burst into tears. Twice. And there was my reminder.

Now London. I just don't get it. I don't understand how this can happen. I don't understand how anyone feels they have the right decide another person's fate. I don't understand how anyone can kill in the name of religion. I don't understand hate.

So in the midst of this sadness came wonderful news: my friend Sue was just proposed to and she accepted. They haven't known each other very long, but their courtship was intense and they both know it's right. The thing about Sue is that even though she makes mistakes, she acknowledges she is human, acknowledges her errors, and learns from them. She is one of the few people I know who is constantly working to better herself and her connection with other humans. Her joyfulness and happiness is contagious and I loved her the minute I met her. I feel lucky to be her friend, and I feel nothing but happiness for her.

Here's a girl who works to better her spiritual and human connection and through that openness and forward motion has found love.

But that's the world for you. Ups and downs, highs and lows. Experiencing sorrow and heartache helps us to appreciate the truly wonderful things in the world.

I have wonderful, wonderful people in my life: my family, Suzanne, Ben, Sue, Shah, Jen, Laurie, Jim....I love you all. Thank you for making my life better.

And I'll keep trying to remember how very lucky I am.
- posted by Taunia @ 4:21 PM