A VERY JOHN HUGHES BIRTHDAY

So today was is/was my birthday. Now don't go feeling bad that you didn't say anything, it's not like you knew. It's my Sweet 16 X 2. I'm 32 today.

The thing about it is, I was feeling very Molly Ringwald today because it seemed like nobody remembered for the first half of the day. Let me give you a few examples:

I live next door to my parents. As I was outside and getting into the car I am now driving (Suzanne's - thanks to her training out in Cali. Yeehaw!), my dad drove by. He slowed and stopped to look at the car, but never rolled down the window or even mouthed the words Happy Birthday.

I got to work and I soon realized that I had to be my own PR person. No one remembered it was my birthday at first. In fact, my friend Andrew suggested I hang up the traditional Hello Kitty Happy Birthday banner at my desk - so he and I did that. I hung up my own fucking birthday decorations!

So I waited until noon, but I never got a call from either of my sisters or my brother OR an email with birthday wishes. Nada. I also kept checking the message board on the band website - where we have traditionally had birthday wishes posted and I had a whole lotta nothing.

The thing is, I always think birthdays are really special fun days. When I was a kid, my birthday always fell on a school vacation, so I didn't have to go to school and just played and had fun. I've always loved celebrating birthdays, and generally go out of my way to make sure I give people their props on their day. I was just sad because I felt forgotten - very Molly, yo.



Luckily, my friends Mary, Amy, and Jen/Yen, and Thompson sent me some cute online cards which made me happy. Later in the afternoon, my boss brought me a cute plant, and the girls in the HR department got me a card. The BEST gift, though, was a poem from Amy:

Its Soderfest!
So take a rest
and read this rhyme -
its the best!

When you were born
on this day
some heard the
doctors and nurses say:

"This kid is bound for greater things
Just check out the hair and the big hoop 'rings"

You screamed a scream
and belted a sound
that could be heard
for miles around

"I want to sing like Ella and Aretha.
I'm Taunia (remember the name)
and pleased to meet ya"

So that's how it goes,
and that is the tale
Let it be known:
this girl can wail!

HA! That just cracked me up. She also sent me a hilarious picture of myself which she doctored up with Photoshop.

Later in the evening, my Mom and Dad brought me some really beautiful flowers and two cards with a nice check in it - which is the most useful birthday gift they could have gotten me, really, as the bills need to be paid!

Overall, it was just sort of a surreal day...but ended nicely and with reassurance that I was not forgotten. I can't help still feel a little Molly, though!
- posted by Taunia @ 8:51 PM (0) comments

 
LOVE FOR EVERYONE

Well kids, it's Friday the 13th - one day before Valentine's Day. I love seeing people happy and in love - and despite it being a mass-marketed greeting card/chocolate holiday, there's something about all the red and love in the air that makes me happy. It also makes me just a little bit sad because I don't have someone who loves me, but mostly just happy that there's a whole lotta love goin' round.

I decided that I'm going to make tomorrow an "I LOVE ME!" Valentine's Day. I am going to pamper myself just a little. I'm going to sleep late, give myself a pedicure, a facial, I just may actually shave my legs for the first time in about 2 months! I'll play a ton of Scrabble online, won't get out of my PJ's, and will watch the three Netflix DVD's that have been hanging out at my house:



If it weren't for this damn Atkins (-16 lbs so far baby!), I'd also get myself a giant pizza and bottle of Coke...but alas, those carb-filled Valentine days are gone...

I also did something that was either completely brave or quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever done....

Ok, there's this boy at work (let's call him "Mr. C"). I've had a crush on him for a long time now, and I think he's absolutely adorable. The strange thing is, I've always fallen for people after I got to know them. With Mr. C, it was an instant attraction as soon as I met him and I still don't really know him very well - but I just adore him. I've talked to him enough to know he's got a good sense of humor and that he's a nice guy...but there's something about him that I feel very, very drawn to. Problem is, he doesn't feel drawn to me.

See, when Mr. C first started working here, I made the mistake of telling my guy friend "T" that I had a crush on him. T in turn joked with him about it and then finally told me that Mr. C wasn't interested. That was about a year ago. I still have this HUGE crush on him. Now, you know this Diva is NOT shy, and I'm generally the quick-witted gal with the flashy comebacks and jokes. When he talks to me, I can't even LOOK at him, I get SO nervous and instantly revert back to 16 yrs old being completely clueless as to how to act around a boy. He must think I'm the biggest dork. Even so, he's always very nice to me, albeit not interested.

SO, he has become my new motivation. I'm losing weight because I want to go out with this guy, and I want him to be attracted to me. Now before you go saying that he should love me the way I am, remember two things: 1) I don't love the way I look and 2) I don't like him because he's heavy, I am attracted to him because he's tall and thin - which is my preference. If he's not attracted to me, he can't help his personal preferences and I certainly don't fault him for that. BUT, he WILL be attracted to me. I am going to be HOT by the summer. And if he's the guy that motivates me to lose the weight - all the better.

So here's where the brave/dumb thing comes in.

Even knowing that Mr. C is not interested in me, I decided to send him a Valentine. It was a pretty card that just said "Happy Valentine's Day to you." Inside, I put a small note that said that I thought it was important to tell him how I feel, and that I knew that wasn't reciprocated and that was ok. I told him I'd probably die of embarrassment on Monday, but at least I'd go knowing I told him how I felt. I said that if he ever changed his mind he could call me, and I gave him my personal business card with my number on it. Then I walked down to the post office and dropped it in the mail.

Then, there was a moment of panic.

I wanted to shove my arm down that slot and take it back. Dear GOD, what had I done???

Here's the thing, if he acknowledges that I sent it, it will be cool. I just don't want to weird him out or make him uncomfortable at work. If he doesn't acknowledge it, he'll be weirded out and trying to avoid me - and that will make me feel like shit. I also don't want the other guys he works with to know, because I'll be embarrassed.

So there's two ways that this could play out: he could either think that I'm cool and brave OR he could think I'm stalking him and will start to avoid me.

I think I'm going to be sick thinking about this. But in the end, I'll be glad I did it. I really DO think it's important to be brave enough to tell people how you feel, and I really DO think it's important that people know if you think they're something special.

Yeah, screw that! I did the right thing. Love and admiration are important. Go me!


- posted by Taunia @ 12:37 PM (0) comments

 
I am SO ghetto!


Over the weekend, we had a gig in Hartford, Connecticut. We got all the way there and I realized that I left my nice black boots back in Boston and only had my giant, clunky pink timberland boots. Now, you know mama ain't wearin' no hiking boots up onstage, yo. We had some time to kill once we got there, so we went on a quest for a shoe store. Don't people in Hartford, CT wear shoes?? What the hell? We couldn't find a shoe store ANYWHERE.

So, we turned into Family Dollar to ask if they knew where we could find a shoe store. I jumped out of the car, opened the door to walk in and I swear, I will NEVER, EVER forget what I saw. A man was bent over cleaning something on the floor and his WHOLE ASS was hanging out of his pants. And this wasn't a good-looking ass, I assure you. It also wasn't just partial crack - this was the ENTIRE ASS. Of course, I had no one else with me, so I had to just laugh by myself as I got into the store.

Once inside the store, I realized I had stepped into Ghetto Central. Cripes, it was ridiculous in there. There was one register open with a woman who clearly had NO interest in getting people out of her line. There was also no one I could ask about a shoe store because everyone had this vacant "duh" look on their face. As I was about to walk out, I saw a rack of shoes. There, in front of me was a side 8.5 black faux-velvet slip on flats with the tackiest gold chain across the top. They were $2.00. SOLD! I bought them and ripped the gold shit off the top and no one was any the wiser.

When I got back into the car, Amy, Shah, and Ben said: "you missed the ass!" I said, "Ohhhhh no I didn't." Just say no to crack, my friends. Just say no to crack.

Speaking of crack and ghetto, check this out: GEM SWEATER COLLECTION!

Kids, I don't even know where to START with this shit! Check out the gold spandex, yo. That ain't right. I'm also pretty certain that I wore those glasses in 1980. And sister, get yourself a bra with some support, would ya?? She probably needs a whole separate trailer on the lot just for her gems, baby. Oh, just so wrong.

My favorite sweater is on page 4, the "Confettee Spindul."
Be sure to check out the "media" (a 5 second wacky video) too on the home page.

Apparently, this woman owns a "sweater collection" and a photographer used her for a project. You can see some feedback on it here that's also pretty damn funny.

So ghetto gifts for everyone today. Enjoy!
- posted by Taunia @ 4:21 PM (0) comments

 
PUSHIN' THE WARES

Come on, admit it! You've had a secret fantasy of wearing a thong with my face plastered on it, haven't you? Don't be ashamed, who could blame you really? Or maybe you've wanted to add to your collection of lunchboxes and put an All About Buford collector tin next to your Dukes of Hazzard and Banana Splits lunch classics?

Well kids, dreams really do come true:



Yes! This lunch box, along with your long-awaited thong and other fancy All About Buford items can be YOURS TODAY!! We have officially opened our super-duper, extra funky online store!

TAKE ME TO THE ALL ABOUT BUFORD SUPERSTORE, WHERE I SHALL SPEND A ZILLION DOLLARS!!!

Now git shoppin! Not only do you help support live music and help to promote the band, but you will have our undying love and gratitude. It's February and tis the season to spread love kids. Spread the love.
- posted by Taunia @ 6:50 AM (0) comments

 
STOLEN FROM TESS

Tess had this cool little thing on her site, so I ripped her off. It shows in red what states you've visited in the US. I'm so pathetic!!!



create your own visited states map
- posted by Taunia @ 11:04 AM (0) comments