WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR

Today was my friend Brian's wedding. He and I have known each other for years and I feel like he's a brother to me. I sang during the Mass. I was really nervous - so nervous that I actually popped a couple of my plane-anxiety pills to relax me. I NEVER get nervous singing: except at weddings.

I sang three pieces that they chose: Ave Maria, The Prayer, and The Wedding Song. A lot of my friends there had ever heard me sing classically, so they were a bit surprised to hear me singing Ave Maria in latin. When I sat back down, Suzanne leaned over and said, "Taunia, that was beautiful. I was really happy to hear that since my classical chops are a bit rusty. My other friend Brian was an usher, and he told me afterwards that he had no idea it was me singing until he turned the corner and that it was really beautiful. And believe me, that meant a lot because he doesn't toss out compliments lightly.

Everyone on both sides of the family were very complimentary and really very sweet. I was glad to be part of the wedding, and glad that everyone enjoyed it so much.

One thing that really, really had a profound affect on me was something Brian's (the groom) mom Donna said to me. Now Donna is the idyllic mother that everyone wants to have. A sweet, sweet lady. She's totally foxy, totally hip, and gushes over her son. Her affection for him is overwhelming, really. I was always jealous of it.

Just before I was about to leave, Donna grabbed me and hugged me and said, "Taunia, you're so beautiful. Your voice is so beautiful. You've accomplished so much and I'm so proud of you. I really mean that. I'm very proud of you." I couldn't even help myself: I burst into tears.

Just yesterday, my parents and I got into a pretty big argument because I said that I thought they didn't take me seriously as a musician and they pretty much confirmed it for me. I work SO hard and I'm so passionate about what I do - and to them, it's just some simple hobby and I'm just a slacker.

All my life I've wanted their approval and I've just recently realized that I will never get it from them. I want them to be proud of me and to boast to people about what I do - they don't.

They've never once said they are proud of me. Never. To hear Donna say that was just so emotional for me. I knew she meant it, and I know she loves me and all of Brian's friend. Somehow I think she knew how badly I needed to hear that just once in my life - and her timing couldn't have been more perfect.

"I'm so proud of you." If you have someone in your life - whether it be a child, a spouse, a friend, whatever - tell them you are proud of their accomplishments. Believe me, they need to hear it.
- posted by Taunia @ 11:48 PM