ALL MY EXES DO NOT LIVE IN TEXAS

Speaking of Texas, there's one ex that I'd like to send back there immediately: the future ex-President. Nice speech, W. Why don't you just skip all the details and be nebulous, huh? Oy. I'll save that rant for another day.

I've been feeling very anti-man of late. Not man-hating or anything, just not really interested in dating or being involved with anyone right now. I think it stems from being really let down by Mr. X, but I'm not upset about feeling this way either. I like my own company and really like being by myself on the rare few occassions that I can.

I was just thinking that the past couple of week's have been a bit ex-y. We recently did a gig at The Vanilla Bean Cafe in Vermont. R, a guy I dated a bit a few years back, contacted me and asked if his group could open for us. I believe in extending opportunities if you can because someday you may need one of your own, so we said yes.

His group was really charming. Completely different from us, but very charming. A few days later he sent a note thanking me (and the band) for letting them open and closed by saying "watched the DVD and the blonde chick in the band is really, really hot." That was cute and made me laugh. It was nice to see him.

If you scan back a couple of entries, you'll see a little tribute that I wrote to my first love, Jake. We haven't spoken in a very long time, but I sent him an email with the link because I wanted him to know how I felt about that period of my life. He wrote back with a very nice note and said he was glad that I was there to share those years in his life too.

Even after all these years he still has a positive affect on me. After dealing with Mr. X and being treated so cruelly for so long, it was nice to be reminded that there still ARE nice, kind guys still out there....especially ones who respect and appreciate me.

Mr. X has been out of the picture for a long time, but today I got a reminder of why he was so wrong for me. I came in and sat down at my desk today to find a blue plastic bag with a bunch of stuff in it. It was filled with all of my things that I had left at his place. No note, not anything attached. Very cold and detached - just like he always has been. The difference is, I feel cold and detached about him now too.

There are no feelings left for him, and that is a little sad for me. Jake also said to me once: "you never stop loving someone you were in love with. You may not be IN love with them anymore, but you'll always care." I always believed that to be true until now because I do not love Mr. X anymore. I don't hate him either. I just feel....nothing.